Yusuf urges muslim couples to uphold fairness, maturity in polygamous marriages
By Mustafa Abubakar
Prof. Hamdalah Yusuf of the Faculty of Education, University of Ilorin, has urged Muslim women to embrace maturity, humility, tolerance, and mutual support in polygamous marriages, stressing the importance of fairness, understanding, and peaceful coexistence among co-wives.
The don made the call penultimate Sunday (September 20, 2026), while speaking at the Polygyny Seminar, organised by the Organisation of Tadhamunul Muslimeen (OTM) and The Muslim Congress (TMC), held at the FOMWAN Hall, Ilorin.
Speaking on the subject, Prof. Yusuf explained that men’s interests and preferences could change at different stages of life, noting that individuals might develop affection for different people as they grow older and experience changing circumstances.
She, however, stressed the importance of good character, politeness, love, and leading by example, urging women who desired to become influential figures in their homes to demonstrate maturity and offer sound advice.
According to her, women should cultivate humility and fear Allah, recognising that marriage comes with responsibilities and challenges that require patience and wisdom.
Prof. Yusuf illustrated the point with the example of a young woman who marries and subsequently becomes a widow. She noted that when such a woman remarries, she may face challenges adjusting to a new husband, particularly if she constantly compares the new spouse with her deceased former husband.
She urged women to avoid such comparisons and develop the maturity required to understand and support their new spouses.
She further encouraged women to demonstrate good character and positive examples in their homes, stressing that maturity and sound counsel could contribute to stronger marital relationships.
Prof. Yusuf also asked women to consider how they would respond if their husbands decided to marry additional wives, challenging them to reflect on the importance of cooperation and acceptance within the family.
The don suggested that a first wife who responds with cooperation and a welcoming attitude could strengthen her relationship with her husband and contribute to peace in the home.
Referring to examples from the time of the Prophet, including Aisha and Khadijah, she urged Muslim women to learn from exemplary figures and develop qualities that would benefit their families.
Prof. Yusuf also addressed the tendency of some women to doubt their husbands or view other wives as permanent enemies.
She questioned whether it was appropriate for wives to regard one another as lifelong adversaries, particularly when a husband brought his wives and children together as one extended family.
She noted that some women might question their husbands’ decision to marry another wife by considering their income, living arrangements, and ability to support additional family members.
According to her, such discussions could cause emotional pain and misunderstanding, especially when individuals made judgments without fully understanding the circumstances involved.
She maintained that where a man possessed the necessary resources and could properly care for his family, the decision to marry another wife should be approached with wisdom, fairness, and responsibility.
She urged women not to automatically interpret the arrival of another wife as evidence that they were inadequate or no longer valued by their husbands.
She acknowledged that some wives might feel neglected when a husband appears to favour a new wife, particularly when his treatment of the new spouse changes after marriage.
